We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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