look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
His nipple licking is glorious
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