why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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