The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
