For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
