the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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