i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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