i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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