I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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