How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
