I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
