I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
