Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
