You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
