I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
