His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
