When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
