i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Just invented taco cereal.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
