My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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