thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
