Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize