I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
