It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize