ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
my liver is dry heaving
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
