I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This is the high leading the old right now
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
