I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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