She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
there is puke in my bra ... again
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
