covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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