I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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