I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
do herpes really smell.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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