well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
