My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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