He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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