someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
