She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
