arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize
