she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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