I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
