Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
