don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
