I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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