No, you can still breathe under the balls.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
