So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
