Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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