I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
