Don't make out with my wife yet
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
