hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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