therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
