Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
