yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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