I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Nicole vs. Life
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
