Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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