I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
