You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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