so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
