my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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