so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
