you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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