Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
