i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
