eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I look better un-naked...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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