They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
