me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
