hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
