Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize