chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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