some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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