Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
