New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
