i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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