Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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