if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
