You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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