If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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