Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
