yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize